No, not to prison.
Taking a break until the New Year.
Have a happy and safe holiday period everyone.
Tina Lamina and the excellent hips
Dear Goodly Friend,
With respect and humility, hello from Ms Tina Lamina.
I decided to send this proposal to you, this is not mandatory, nor in any manner compel you to honor against your willing or otherwise. Just so we're perfectly clear. Okay?
Your country Ambassador to Uganda, being Mr Kevin Bacon, personally gave me a list of trusted attractive men with whom I can partner with for investment and marriage purposes in your Country.
I lead a group of organized local cabbage miners formerly based in Butembo in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Cabbage mines are always get attacked by rebels, the buggers. It can making our cabbages boil, let me tell you.
We are trapped and supplying running low. I need suppliers for Weetbix,hang gliding equipments,canned spaghetti, tasty multigrains, mining equipment,heavy duty bird seed, ancient cars and used dishcloths from your country worth over $25 million and you will retain 15% as profit from purchase funds for monthly supply of these products, perhaps not including the dishcloths, and your supply prices will not be 2% higher than conformity prices around the world, which can be confirmed by just making them up.
I decided to write you first and see if you can form a perfect partnership business with me and help buy these items as we forward the funds to you under CASH AND SUPPLY, and then marry me a bit later because I have excellent hips.
Please forward your phone and fax numbers for secured communications and I will send you photo of me rudely dancing. Is there anything on this world more enticement?
Looking toward for your replying, my darling good one.
Regardless
Tina Lamina
Hmmm. That is pretty enticement. But not today, Ms Lamina.
Bleak house
On this week's hike in interest rates. Cartoon copyright Northern Territory News. Please don't pinch it.
Bottom's up
The democratic glory that is the Northern Territory Legislative Assembly shifted camp last week, sitting in Alice Springs instead of Darwin for a change. Cartoon copyright Northern Territory News. Please don't pinch it. (The cartoon, not the bottom. Ha ha ha.)
Wet and Wild
The wet season is sexy, a leading Territory tourism figure has declared. Top End Tourism president Sylvia Wolf said visitors loved watching the pavements steam after rain. "It's very sensual," she said. No wonder there are so many people laying around on pavements up here.
Cartoon copyright Northern Territory News. Please don't pinch it.
The return of Tina Lamina
Long time readers of this blog may recall the occasional appearances by one Tina Lamina, Queen of Spam. Well, she's back and up to her usual trickery. Must've just got out of jail or something. I did kind of miss her.Good day my Dearly Beloved,
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.
l am Tina Lamina, the only child of late Chief and Mrs Fooey Lamina. My chief father was a very wealthy button merchant in Abidjan here, the economic capital of Ivory Coast. He was choked to death by buttons his business associates had craftily placed in a cup of tea. Now by this horror African buttons are known around the world as 'blood buttons'.
My mother Mrs Fooey Lamina is dead after falling down a hole at a music festival when I am nine years old, funnily enough while 'Hole' was playing.
Before the death of my father in a private button-choking hospital here in Abidjan, he complained that I have not finished my university degree to be Doctor of Zippers. Zippers are to be the next big thing, he declared to me tearfuls in his eyes. He revealed he has a sum of US$7,500.000.(SEVEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) worth of buttons he left in security firm here in Abidjan, that he used my name as the only child for his next of kin in deposit of the fund of buttons.
He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was choked to death by his business associates. As you can believe, it was hard to understand him with buttons down his throat but he said that l should seek for a GOD fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where l will transfer these buttons and use them for proper investment purpose.
l am honourable seeking your assistance in the following ways:
(1) To serve as guardian of the buttons in your country while I will depend on your goodly expert advice since l am only 22 years old and gloriously good looking.
(2) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country in order to secure a residential permit for me in your country by marry me.
Moreover, l am willing to offer you 15% of the total number of buttons, which should fit in no more than three shipping containers in your yard.
Furthermore, you can indicate your option towards assisting me as l believed that this project would be concluded within seven days if you signify interest to assist me by standing on your head and sending a photo of that to me.
Hoping to hear from you soon. May God bless you as you as you extend your helping hand to a button orphan.
Regardless,
Tina Lamina
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